Kõik on alati nii esimest korda – esimene äike, esimene rahe, esimene torm… Lapsemeel, eluteel püsi veel – tsiteerides mu papa Harri kirjutatud laulusõnu 🙂

Ester Kees: Miks inimesed halvustavad teisi? Vanarahvas ütles: “Kui süda on raske, siis keel muutub teravaks.”
Me elame maailmas, kus sõnad lendavad kiiremini kui kuulid ja kriitika on saanud paljude vaikivaks keeleks. Aga mida peidab endast inimene, kes pidevalt teisi halvustab? Kas see on julgus rääkida otse või on see hirm maskeerunud karmuseks?Sageli pole halvustamine märgiks teise inimese tegelikust väärtusest, vaid halvustaja enda sees peituvast valust, kadedusest või rahulolematusest. Kui inimene ei oska või ei julge endaga tõtt vaadata, võib ta hakata peegleid lõhkuma – neid peegleid, mis tuletavad talle meelde, mida ta endas eitab.”Need, kes teisi haavavad, on ise seespool haavatud.” – Pärimuslik tarkus
“See, kes karjub, kardab. See, kes halvustab, peidab end.” – Vana lause rändmunkadelt “Enne kui viskad kivi, vaata, ega see pole su oma varju pihta.” – Tundmatu teejuht “Sõna on nagu seeme – see, mida sa teistele viskad, hakkab sinu sees kasvama.” – Vana rahvatarkus

“Inimese suu räägib sellest, millest süda on tulvil.” – Luuka 6:45
Õpetaja ja Õpilase dialoog
Õpilane: Õpetaja… miks mõned inimesed kogu aeg teisi halvustavad? Kas neil on midagi katki?
Õpetaja: Mitte katki, vaid suletud. Halvustamine on justkui kaev, mille suu on avatud, aga sügavus jääb varju. Seal all on sageli hirm, väärtusetuse tunne või kibedus, mida nad pole julgenud vaadata.
Õpilane: Aga miks nad siis oma valu niimoodi välja valavad teiste peale?
Õpetaja: Sest nad pole õppinud seda valu kuulama. Kui valu ei saa tunnistatud, muutub ta teravaks sõnaks, pilguks, vihjeks. Vanaema ütles ikka: “Kellel oma haav veritseb, see ei tähelda, kui astub teise varvastele.”
Õpilane: Kuidas mina peaksin end kaitsma selliste inimeste eest?
Õpetaja: Nagu tuule eest metsa servas. Sa ei saa tormi peatada, aga sa saad seista sirgelt, juured maa sees. Ära võta isiklikult. Kui inimene sind halvustab, näitab ta rohkem iseennast kui sind.
“Kui hundi ulgumine tekitab sinus kahtlust, kas oled lammas, siis tuleb sul meelde tuletada omaenda loomu.” – Pärimuslik tõdemus
Õpilane: Aga vahel teeb see haiget. Õpetaja, kas ma võin mõnda arvamust kasutada enesearenguks?
Õpetaja: Jah. Aga esmalt kuula vaikuses iseennast. Kui see, mida keegi ütleb, heliseb sinus tõena, siis kasuta seda kasvu heaks. Kui see käib su hinge vastu, luba sellel minna. Targem ei neela alla sõnu, mis hinge ummistavad.
Õpilane: Kas nende halvustajate vastu peaks midagi ütlema?
Õpetaja: Sõna ei ole alati parim vastus. Vaikus, mille sees on väärikus, muudab rohkem kui sajad seletused. Vana mets ei hakka noore kase peale hõikama, et oma suurust tõestada.
“Kes näeb teises ainult viga, ei näe kunagi tema valu.” – Pärimuslik tähelepanek
“Mõni inimene räägib mürgiselt, sest pole saanud kunagi armastust maitsta.” – Tundmatu allikas
Õpetaja: Kui sa vastad halvusele halvusega, annad sellele jõudu juurde. Aga kui sa vastad selgusega ja rahuga, jääb see jõud sinust mööda. Nagu vanarahvas ütles: “Kurjust ei toida mitte viha, vaid tähelepanu.”
“Pehme vastus vaigistab viha, aga karm sõna õhutab meelepaha.” – Õpetussõnad 15:1

“Kes valvab oma suud, hoiab oma hinge.” – Õpetussõnad 13:3

“Ärge makske kurja kurjaga, vaid püüdke teha head kõigile inimestele.” – Roomlastele 12:17
“Pea suu suletuna rumala ees, sest sa ei leia temalt tarkuse sõnu.” – Õpetussõnad 23:9
Halvustamine ei ole tarkuse hääl. See on sageli hinge karje, mis pole leidnud kuulajat. Kui me seda mõistame, saame vabaneda reaktsioonist ja valida teadlikkuse. Me ei pea laskma iga sõna enda sisse. Oskus mitte isiklikult võtta on sisemise tugevuse märk, mitte tuimus.

Kui keegi sind kritiseerib, kõneta end esmalt armastusega. Õpi nägema, milline arvamus on peegel ja milline lihtsalt vari. Me ei pea vastama igale varjule, mis meie teele langeb. Me peame jääma valgusesse.
Inimese sõnad on tema seesmise ilma ilmakaardid. Halvustaja ei vaja alati vastupanu – vahel vajab ta nägemist. Aga sina, kes sa soovid kasvada, vali oma sõnad ja vaikused nii, et nad ei ehitaks müüre, vaid aknaid. Ära võta igat sõna endaga kaasa. Vali, mida hoiad, ja vali, mille lased minna.
“Inimese vaenlased on tema oma maja liikmed.” – Matteuse 10:36
Kuldaväärt tarkuseterad
“Kes teisi halvustab, näitab oma varju. Kes kuulab vaikuses, avab oma valgust.” – Pärimuslik tõde

“Kui keegi viskab su poole kivi, ära ehita sellega müüri. Ehita astmelaud.” – Vana ütlus

“Sõnad on kui tuul. Sina otsustad, kas su läid laeva või katkestad reisi.” – Tundmatu teejuht
“Mitte iga koera haukumine ei vaja vastuhaukumist.” – Vana metsavenna tarkus

“Kui kuuled halba, hinga ja kuula, kas su süda heliseb kaasa. Kui ei, siis lase sel minna nagu tuulel lehti mööda maad.” – Vanaema ütlus

“Kes teist viskab esimese kivi, olgu see, kes pole kunagi ise komistanud.” – Jeesus, Johannese evangeelium 8:7

“Kui inimene näeb kõikjal ainult vigu, elab ta ise südameklaasis, mis on pragunenud.” – Rahvalik võrdpilt

“Vaikus ei ole alati nõrkus. Mõnikord on see sügavaim tarkus.” – Zen-meistri ütlus

We’ve been taught that Mercury is the planet of communication – and to some extent, it is.
Mercury is how we make sense of the world: how we decode information and give it meaning. Language is a Mercurial process because it helps us organize thoughts and translate perception into words.
But if by communication we mean the act of reaching out and engaging with the world – taking the risk to initiate a conversation, engage with others, or respond to what’s happening around us – then we’re not in Mercury territory anymore.
We’re in Mars territory.
Of course, it’s all about how we define communication. Our speaking style, the way we make sense of things, the way we structure our thoughts, our inner dialogue – that’s all Mercury.
But a lot of the time, when we say ‘communication’ we mean the more social aspects of it. Do we find it easy to speak our minds? To reach out to a stranger? To do small talk? To engage with another in a meaningful way? Do we have social impact with what we say?
And which planet is responsible for these more social instincts, if not Mercury?
Venus?
No – it’s not Venus either (although again, there are certain social aspects to Venus, but just like with Mercury, they emerge from our own internal filters and values).
Mercury And Venus – The ‘Interior’ Planets
Let’s zoom out a bit and look at planets according to their distance from the Sun, and also how we see them from Earth – because astrology is geocentric.
Mercury and Venus are the first 2 planets orbiting closest to the Sun. They are the most directly tied to our core identity – the Sun.
Everything starts with the Sun – the core of who we are, our cosmic DNA – the unchangeable essence of the psyche. In the Planets and Psyche framework, the Sun, together with the Moon, form our identity – you can find the whole framework laid out in this 7-minute video
And then the first planet beyond the Sun is Mercury. Mercury is like the newborn infant – just beginning to come out into the world and engage with it through the senses. All the images, sounds and impressions pouring in – all processed by Mercury.
But if all we did was process sensory input in a pure Mercurial way, we’d run out of RAM. Our brain would short-circuit.
That’s why we have Venus – the next planet in order from the Sun. Venus places value on the sensory input we receive through our Mercury function.
Some information is more important than others. Our mother’s voice is more relevant than some random TV static. Venus labels that Mercury input – ‘mother’s voice’ – as important, something I retain. Some random sound – not important, I discard.
That’s why Venus is the planet of values – it’s basically the subjective filter that assigns meaning to the random information we encounter.
In the Planets and Psyche model, the main word we use to describe Venus is ‘feelings’ – because it’s our internal feelings that inform us of what’s meaningful and what’s not.
Babies usually develop speech around the age of 1 – this is when we have our first Mercury return – hence the connection between language, internal cognition, and Mercury.
From a Mercury, inner world perspective, communication functions as signaling (come here, I’m crying) and self-regulating (soothing through words or sounds).
So is Mercury communication or not?
Mercury is our me-centered communication. Because at the age of 1, when the Mercury function develops, the child does not yet have a separate sense of identity.

Mars – The Emergence Of Self-Concept
Then, at the age of 2, something happens. The child starts to recognize themselves in the mirror. By 2 years old, most toddlers can use words like “I” and “me,” and refer to themselves by name. This marks the emergence of self-concept.
The age of 2 coincides with our first Mars return. Mars represents the next developmental phase of our psyche – the Self as a distinct, separate, and differentiated entity.
This is when we become aware of the environment, and we’re able to interact with that environment by initiating contact.
Astrology and astronomy reflect these psychological functions.
Mercury and Venus, being found between the Sun and the Earth, never move too far away from the Sun, as seen from Earth. We call them ‘interior planets’.
In the natal chart, Mercury never travels more than 28 degrees away from the Sun – so it can only be found in the same sign, or in the sign just before or after the Sun.
Venus never moves more than 48 degrees away from the Sun – so it can only be found in the same sign as our Sun sign, or up to 2 signs away.
Because of this proximity, Mercury and Venus never get to form a Ptolemaic aspect with the Sun – other than the conjunction. We can’t have a Mercury-Sun sextile, or a Sun-Venus square.
This means that our Mercury and Venus functions don’t develop tension or polarity with the core identity – they orbit too close, too safely.
But then comes Mars – the first planet that completes a full circle around the Sun, from our perspective here on Earth. Mars is the first planet that can square, trine, or oppose the Sun.
Mars is the first function of the psyche to break orbit and individuate – to get out of itself and explore the world.
Mars is our impulse to get out of our inner bubble (represented by Mercury – my inner dialogue -, and Venus – what makes me feel good) and actually engage with the world we live in.
Mars = Communication?
So coming back to communication.
Can we use our Mercury function to communicate? Yes, to some extent.
But that Mercurial communication tends to function primarily as internal expression, not driven by a need to interact with the world as a whole. Remember, Mercury’s reach is limited to 28 degrees of separation from the Sun.
Mercury is used more as a self-regulating mechanism – “I need to talk,” “I need to get this out of my system” – but not as a means to interact in a full, conscious way with the world.
When the Mars expression is not fully developed, the person can have communication problems – even if they talk, the message doesn’t ‘land’, or they fail to make themselves understood.

Mercury by itself will not necessarily pick up on social cues, will not know when to stop talking, ask questions, listen, or offer a comeback that meets the moment.
Mars – as our inner drive to get out of ourselves (the interior planets) and engage with the world – will.
Of course, Mars is not literally communication – but an umbrella for the actions we take (including communication) to engage with the world.
Our drive to go up to a stranger and talk to them comes from Mars, not Mercury. Our ability to have a back-and-forth conversation where we pause and take in the other person’s energy comes from Mars, not Mercury.
Still not convinced? Track your transits – see when you have Mercury vs. Mars transits – and notice when you feel more of a drive to connect and have social impact, and when your message ‘lands’ because your actions match your intention.

Mars is a much better listener than Mercury – who would have thought? Since mainstream astrology tells us that Mars is ‘selfish’.
Yes, Mars is determined, and it has a clear agenda – to affirm the Self (after it is shaped by Mercury and Venus).
But from a psychological perspective, Mars is more complex than Mercury or Venus – just as Jupiter, the next planet out from the Sun, is more complex than Mars.
The Mercury vs. Mars distinction is just one example of something we often reduce to a simple label, like ‘communication’ – when in reality, it unfolds across many different layers.
We could say the same about relationships: and how these are not (just) the domain of Venus, but also Jupiter. And so on.
The Planets And Psyche Framework
When we look at planets from a) their correspondence to the psyche and b) their distance from the Sun – not only do we understand astrology better, we understand ourselves and others better.
Because planets are not just a series of traits or labels. Planetary qualities and functions build on each other and become increasingly complex, forming a developmental sequence that mirrors our own psychological evolution.
If you resonate with this approach, you’re invited to dive deeper with Planets And Psyche – a 4-week immersion into the framework.
In Planets And Psyche, we work with 4 segments of planets – Identity archetypes, Personal planets, Social planets, Outer planets – and dedicate one week to each category.
Planets and Psyche will revolutionize your understanding of the planets – and astrology as a whole – and shed light on your inner world: including blind spots, areas of difficulty, and untapped growth.
If you’re committed to personal growth, Planets and Psyche opens up a unique way of seeing the planets – and yourself – that is guaranteed to spark aha moments and connect the dots in ways you’ve never thought of before.
You can learn more about Planets and Psyche – and register here:
>> The Planets And Psyche Framework << Astro Butterfly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHI25Ur6BtY&list=TLPQMTEwNzIwMjWCGQ3aRJK3nQ&index=2&pp=gAQBiAQB